When You Need $$

Mooching money from your parents is a dangerous thing.  Especially if they are already helping you pay tuition or something like that, you may (should) feel like a major freeloader if you ask them for money all the time.  So here are some tricks to getting your parents to help you out without making them feel like they have raised you badly.

- Go shopping when they visit.  We've already been over this but I'll say it again: when your parents are in town, they will be predisposed to spend money on you.  Don't force them to buy you things you don't need, like another pair of jeans or that enormous poster of Thor.  Stick with groceries and shampoo.
- Don't ask for money.  What?  Backwards?  Yes.  It's called reverse psychology.  Call your parents on the phone and spend a good 10 minutes talking about other stuff.  Then, casually mention that you are really stressed out because you have to put in a deposit for your travel abroad next semester and it's going to wipe out your bank account (it helps if it actually will wipe you out).  Then your parents can say "oh, we'll help you with that!" or even better "Oh, we'll pay for that!" SCORE!
- Don't make them pay for little things.  If you call your Daddy every time you decide you need $20, grow up.  Get a job on campus or something, you smelly turnip.  Save your requests for when you actually need money.
- Watch out for sneaky technology.  Most of you have bank accounts that your parents have access to.  Guess what, they can go online and SEE everywhere you spend money, how much you spend, and how often it is.  Your parents are not going to want to buy your books when they see that you spent $246.59 at Hipsters R Us last week.
- Love your parents back.  They know you don't have a lot of money, but you still need to send them cards on holidays/birthdays that you miss.  Call them on those days too.  If you don't want to pay for shipping to send an actual present, but you want to send a present, just order it online and have it delivered to their house.  Tell the parent that it isn't for that it's coming and get him/her to wrap it for you.  Bam!  Lawyered!
- I am really proud of my web browser because it actually recognizes the word "Lawyered" as a thing.  Good job, Chrome!

Now, because you are in college and you don't read the complete text of anything, here is the cliffs notes version of what I said above: (I may or may not have randomly selected words from the above paragraphs and arranged them here in a vaguely logical way.  Results may vary)

- Parents in town?  Buy predisposed groceries, Thor.
- Reverse psychology is like SCORE and wipes you out.
- Grow up, you deadbeat tangelo.
- Technology just bit you in the ass-type-regions
- Send some cards about wrap
- Lawyered is a proud thing!

Look at that, I just saved you time AND money!  That'll be $37.95.