Small school share special traits that most medium and large schools just don't tend to have. Weigh them as you will, most of these things could be good or bad depending on your preferences.
1) Professors go by their first names.
2) Buildings are spread out, but everything on campus is still within walking distance.
3) Stricter rules, harder to get away with things.
4) Higher population of discussion-based classes.
5) Fewer options for food.
6) Lower division sports teams.
7) Anonymity. Get used to people not recognizing the name of your school.
8) No anonymity. You will be recognized on campus.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Departmental Scholarships
Little known fact: many colleges offer scholarships that you can apply for after you have enrolled and declared a major. These are known as departmental scholarships and most people apply for them sophomore year once they have settled on a major. The idea is that if you prove that you have potential, the school will pay you to stay in their programs (seems a bit like bribery to me, "Here, I'll leave some money in your student account if you take these classes and write me good reviews *wink wink*", but I'll take it).
These usually max out at $1,000 or so - which is a huge help if you get several of them. It helps to be involved in multiple programs (hah, you thought you wouldn't be stretched so thin after high school, didn't you). For example, I am majoring in Spanish Education with a minor in Performing Arts. So I can apply for two different scholarships in the spanish department, one in the education department, and a talent scholarship in the theatre department. If I were to get all four of these, I would be paying about $2,500 less every year (which is a significant chunk of rent money).
So the point is: you must continue to beaf up your resume even after high school. Put down that bottle of pills!
These usually max out at $1,000 or so - which is a huge help if you get several of them. It helps to be involved in multiple programs (hah, you thought you wouldn't be stretched so thin after high school, didn't you). For example, I am majoring in Spanish Education with a minor in Performing Arts. So I can apply for two different scholarships in the spanish department, one in the education department, and a talent scholarship in the theatre department. If I were to get all four of these, I would be paying about $2,500 less every year (which is a significant chunk of rent money).
So the point is: you must continue to beaf up your resume even after high school. Put down that bottle of pills!
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Grammar and Other Such Things
Oh hai so I hate grammatical fallacies. I see these things happen entirely too often by otherwise intelligent people. Seriously, if you purposefully make these mistakes because you think it's hip or something, you are now banned from reading my blog.
Anyway, here are 6 grammatical fallacies that no one should ever make after eighth grade:
1) i. Unless you are literally typing out a text message, capitalize your stupid "I"s. I understand that iPod has a lowercase "I" in front of it - that's fine but otherwise just don't go there.
2) Ur. The only reason to write this ever (even in a text message) is because you don't know the difference between your/you're. So really what you are saying when you write "ur" is "I am a moron and I'm trying to hide it but I can't because I'm such a moron". Why would anyone want to say that?
3) There/their/they're. Learn the difference, people! There is a place, their implies ownership by a third party, they're is a conjunction of "they are". Don't mix them up or I will hurt you.
4) #. Unless you are tweeting, don't put six hashtags at the end of your sentences. This goes for Facebook. It especially applies to writing that isn't even digital - I was once passed a note in class with a string of hashtags at the bottom. Who do you think you are fooling? You aren't trending right now, you are being a fleshsack.
5) !!!!!!. Get a grip. Those make it seem like you are literally peeing on the floor because you are so excited. The same goes for those creepy asian smilies that are made up of like 9 punctuation marks. Just avoid excessive punctuation of any kind and stick to properly placed periods, commas, apostrophes, and question marks.
6) Apostrophe s. Apostrophes are not like bacon bits that you can just randomly place before s's and be correct. Learn the freaking rules and then stop being dumb.
Don't feel bad if you make these mistakes, just FIX THEM. This sign is posted near my dorm: "Throw out you're own trash's pleeze!!!!!". Ushkjgbhrsjgtaorwuaefnkjlsdm,jkhtsreioil. I think I just had a stroke from reading that sign. Just don't be like whoever made this sign and you should be ok.
Anyway, here are 6 grammatical fallacies that no one should ever make after eighth grade:
1) i. Unless you are literally typing out a text message, capitalize your stupid "I"s. I understand that iPod has a lowercase "I" in front of it - that's fine but otherwise just don't go there.
2) Ur. The only reason to write this ever (even in a text message) is because you don't know the difference between your/you're. So really what you are saying when you write "ur" is "I am a moron and I'm trying to hide it but I can't because I'm such a moron". Why would anyone want to say that?
3) There/their/they're. Learn the difference, people! There is a place, their implies ownership by a third party, they're is a conjunction of "they are". Don't mix them up or I will hurt you.
4) #. Unless you are tweeting, don't put six hashtags at the end of your sentences. This goes for Facebook. It especially applies to writing that isn't even digital - I was once passed a note in class with a string of hashtags at the bottom. Who do you think you are fooling? You aren't trending right now, you are being a fleshsack.
5) !!!!!!. Get a grip. Those make it seem like you are literally peeing on the floor because you are so excited. The same goes for those creepy asian smilies that are made up of like 9 punctuation marks. Just avoid excessive punctuation of any kind and stick to properly placed periods, commas, apostrophes, and question marks.
6) Apostrophe s. Apostrophes are not like bacon bits that you can just randomly place before s's and be correct. Learn the freaking rules and then stop being dumb.
Don't feel bad if you make these mistakes, just FIX THEM. This sign is posted near my dorm: "Throw out you're own trash's pleeze!!!!!". Ushkjgbhrsjgtaorwuaefnkjlsdm,jkhtsreioil. I think I just had a stroke from reading that sign. Just don't be like whoever made this sign and you should be ok.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Jesus Moments!
Ok so I am a Christian, albeit a sarcastic one, so if you aren't then tough potatoes because I am writing this post.
God said that He wants all of us, completely, all throughout the day. Most of us really only spend time with God on Sunday, or maybe a little bit in the morning with a devotion or something. We do this because we see spending time with God as something that we have to set apart time for, but it totally isn't. This is where Jesus Moments! come in.
Jesus Moments!: n, little bits of Jesus that can be slipped in to your day whenever you have a spare second. The exclamation point is obligatory.
Jesus Moments! are a super easy way to feel more connected to God, and will get you a little closer to living every part of your life for Jesus. Here are some ways to incorporate Jesus Moments! into your day:
1) Take one verse a week and write it on a sticky that you can put on your planner or binder or computer (anything that you tend to always have out). Whenever you see the sticky, repeat the verse to yourself (or to Jesus, as the case may be) - you can keep a tally of the number of times you say it at the bottom of the note. Memorization is a certainty!
2) Pray while you brush your teeth. In the morning, ask for strength or knowledge or anything you need; at night, tell Jesus how you saw Him move throughout the day, or thank Him for giving you what you needed.
3) When you are doing homework, stop at the bottom of every page and think of one thing that you love about God, or that He has given you, or that You are struggling with. I like to write these at the bottom of the actual page that I am working on, that way when I review I can see how things have/have not changed.
4) Look up some sermons online from your church at home or from a favorite speaker and listen to them while you get ready in the morning instead of music.
5) Actually think about the words to all of the praise songs that you love while you sing along to them while you drive.
6) Pray before you eat.
7) Have a cup of tea with Jesus every time it rains (I live in Washington). I might be crazy, but I like to set out a cup for Him too and just sit there quietly with Him - no memorizing or reading or reciting prayers, just sit with Him like you would with a good friend.
8) Pick one thing a week or month that you want to work on (lying, being lazy, impatience, etc) and talk to God about that one thing whenever you walk to class. Make sure you give Him time to talk back to you.
9) Assign specific meaning to several things around your dorm. Ex: whenever I brew a pot of coffee, I thank God for something (usually the way coffee smells). Ideas include: the act of sitting at your desk, putting on a coat, locking the door, etc. Any little activity where you have two consecutive seconds where your hands are busy.
10) Read a scriptural book veeeeerrrrry sllllloooooowllly. I'm talking like one paragraph every night right before you turn off the light. This gives you time to think about what you are reading and really digest it.
The great thing about Jesus Moments! is that they don't take up any extra time in your day, and by including just a few of them every day you will feel so much more focused and aware of God. He just wants to spend time with you, after all.
God said that He wants all of us, completely, all throughout the day. Most of us really only spend time with God on Sunday, or maybe a little bit in the morning with a devotion or something. We do this because we see spending time with God as something that we have to set apart time for, but it totally isn't. This is where Jesus Moments! come in.
Jesus Moments!: n, little bits of Jesus that can be slipped in to your day whenever you have a spare second. The exclamation point is obligatory.
Jesus Moments! are a super easy way to feel more connected to God, and will get you a little closer to living every part of your life for Jesus. Here are some ways to incorporate Jesus Moments! into your day:
1) Take one verse a week and write it on a sticky that you can put on your planner or binder or computer (anything that you tend to always have out). Whenever you see the sticky, repeat the verse to yourself (or to Jesus, as the case may be) - you can keep a tally of the number of times you say it at the bottom of the note. Memorization is a certainty!
2) Pray while you brush your teeth. In the morning, ask for strength or knowledge or anything you need; at night, tell Jesus how you saw Him move throughout the day, or thank Him for giving you what you needed.
3) When you are doing homework, stop at the bottom of every page and think of one thing that you love about God, or that He has given you, or that You are struggling with. I like to write these at the bottom of the actual page that I am working on, that way when I review I can see how things have/have not changed.
4) Look up some sermons online from your church at home or from a favorite speaker and listen to them while you get ready in the morning instead of music.
5) Actually think about the words to all of the praise songs that you love while you sing along to them while you drive.
6) Pray before you eat.
7) Have a cup of tea with Jesus every time it rains (I live in Washington). I might be crazy, but I like to set out a cup for Him too and just sit there quietly with Him - no memorizing or reading or reciting prayers, just sit with Him like you would with a good friend.
8) Pick one thing a week or month that you want to work on (lying, being lazy, impatience, etc) and talk to God about that one thing whenever you walk to class. Make sure you give Him time to talk back to you.
9) Assign specific meaning to several things around your dorm. Ex: whenever I brew a pot of coffee, I thank God for something (usually the way coffee smells). Ideas include: the act of sitting at your desk, putting on a coat, locking the door, etc. Any little activity where you have two consecutive seconds where your hands are busy.
10) Read a scriptural book veeeeerrrrry sllllloooooowllly. I'm talking like one paragraph every night right before you turn off the light. This gives you time to think about what you are reading and really digest it.
The great thing about Jesus Moments! is that they don't take up any extra time in your day, and by including just a few of them every day you will feel so much more focused and aware of God. He just wants to spend time with you, after all.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Those 5 Questions
In pretty much any conversational context, people will only ever ask you 5 questions about college. You will answer these 5 questions over and over until you would rather rip off your own arm just to have something to fend off the conversation with.
Those 5 Questions are:
1) So where are you going to school? Oh gosh, it's like not only was the last conversation that I had with this person about college boring, but they don't even remember it and so now I must have it again. Seriously, if you are going to pretend to care, at least remember what you are pretending to care about.
2) What's your major? Clearly not conversational skills or I would have seen you coming a mile away and made a run for it.
3) Do you like it? No, I am choosing to study something that I hate for the rest of my life. I am just such a sadist that I would like to suffer for all eternity. Really, I need not have bothered because I could have just had THIS conversation.
4) What do you want to do with that major? Oh come on, this question is "what do you want to be when you grow up?"'s big brother. It's time for some more creative questions here, people.
5) Are you getting good grades? Well, see, I've spent 13 years now in our messed-up education system in which being good at school matters more than actually learning and retaining information, so considering the fact that I have pursued more expensive ways to spend my life in this system, I think I'm pretty good at it by now.
I'm not saying that I don't appreciate the thought or that this isn't a perfectly valid conversational outline, but I have had this exact conversation more that 30 times. I stopped counting after 32. Watch the most entertaining cat video 30 times and you will begin to hate yourself - and this conversation is no cat video. I would love to talk about college with people, but only if they can come up with some original questions, or maybe even comment back once and a while. That's the thing with these questions: no one ever has anything to say about your answers! "What's your major" "Spanish Education." "Oh... so you would ... well, What do you want to do with that major?" "Gee, I don't know ... maybe EDUCATE someone about SPANISH" Out of the 30+ times that I have had this conversation, I have never had anyone say anything interesting back to me after I respond. No wonder I'm cynical.
I'm writing this post now because it is the holiday season which means you will, in all likelihood, see some relatives and acquaintances who will want to ask you these questions. So I have prepared some answers and responses that make the conversation slightly more bearable.
1) So where are you going to school? Answer with your school's name and the state/city that it's in (to head off Question #1's twin brother "Where is that?"). Then, before your person can say anything else, tell them something interesting about the school/city/state that you would like to talk about. If they bite, you can delay the rest of the conversation. I like to go with "Oh yeah, Whitworth is in Washington. They say that the skiing up there is ok but I don't think it compares to Colorado."
2) What's your major? The best tactic here is to scare them away. Tell them what your major is and then start talking about that really interesting and technically complex that happened to you in that class with a really long name while you were studying this subject that no one has ever heard of. Try to drop in three words that your person won't be able to pronounce, and round it all of with a question back at them in another attempt to steer the conversation away from the rest of the 5 Questions. For example, "Oh, I'm majoring in Spanish Education, so I'm taking a whole bunch of these really hard Spanish classes. I took the CLEP language proficiency test at the beginning of the year and I got put in a Junior level class that I was really excited about, but the teacher turned out to be a total moron. Once, she was trying to explain how to conjugate in the pluperfect subjunctive tense but she got it completely confused with the preterite imperfect tense and had no clue. Did you ever have any teachers like that?"
3) Do you like it? If your person is still asking the questions at this point, you are doing something wrong. Still, the best way to answer this question is by sounding unsure about how committed you are, but putting on a brave face. "Well, I love Spanish and I've spent a long time in school learning all of the grammar and vocab and stuff, but I've never really taken any education classes so I don't know how I'll feel about that. I figure that it's always useful to speak another language and I could easily major in something else as well. I'm pretty sure that I'll stick to Spanish Ed because it's what I'm passionate about, but I'm trying to stay open to anything at this point." Notice that you never actually answered the question. Ms. Cyr would be so disappointed after all of her "Answer the Prompt!" AP prep stuff.
4) What do you want to do with that major? Admittedly, for some majors (like Psychology - seriously, what could you possibly spend your life doing with a Psych major) this is a legitimate question, but people don't seem to care if your major has an obvious career path attached to it, they will still ask you this. It is best to just flat-out answer whilst making a last desperate stab to not have to answer the last question. "I'm hoping to teach Spanish on a high school level, but there are always jobs for translators and stuff. Still, I would rather people listen to what I have to say, then what some other person is saying through me, you know?"
5) Are you getting good grades? You have been defeated. They got all 5 question in. Just give up and walk away. "Oh yeah, I'm pretty good at school by now. Sorry, it looks like my mom wants me to help her with some hosting job that I just made up on the spot, excuse me."
You are now armed with the weapons you need to fend off The 5 Questions. Just remember SIT CUB FAR: Something Interesting, Technical Crap, Unsure Brave-Face, Answer, Run. Good luck running the holiday gauntlet. At least you know that I am here for you with semi-helpful, heavily sarcastic responses to all of your questions.
Those 5 Questions are:
1) So where are you going to school? Oh gosh, it's like not only was the last conversation that I had with this person about college boring, but they don't even remember it and so now I must have it again. Seriously, if you are going to pretend to care, at least remember what you are pretending to care about.
2) What's your major? Clearly not conversational skills or I would have seen you coming a mile away and made a run for it.
3) Do you like it? No, I am choosing to study something that I hate for the rest of my life. I am just such a sadist that I would like to suffer for all eternity. Really, I need not have bothered because I could have just had THIS conversation.
4) What do you want to do with that major? Oh come on, this question is "what do you want to be when you grow up?"'s big brother. It's time for some more creative questions here, people.
5) Are you getting good grades? Well, see, I've spent 13 years now in our messed-up education system in which being good at school matters more than actually learning and retaining information, so considering the fact that I have pursued more expensive ways to spend my life in this system, I think I'm pretty good at it by now.
I'm not saying that I don't appreciate the thought or that this isn't a perfectly valid conversational outline, but I have had this exact conversation more that 30 times. I stopped counting after 32. Watch the most entertaining cat video 30 times and you will begin to hate yourself - and this conversation is no cat video. I would love to talk about college with people, but only if they can come up with some original questions, or maybe even comment back once and a while. That's the thing with these questions: no one ever has anything to say about your answers! "What's your major" "Spanish Education." "Oh... so you would ... well, What do you want to do with that major?" "Gee, I don't know ... maybe EDUCATE someone about SPANISH" Out of the 30+ times that I have had this conversation, I have never had anyone say anything interesting back to me after I respond. No wonder I'm cynical.
I'm writing this post now because it is the holiday season which means you will, in all likelihood, see some relatives and acquaintances who will want to ask you these questions. So I have prepared some answers and responses that make the conversation slightly more bearable.
1) So where are you going to school? Answer with your school's name and the state/city that it's in (to head off Question #1's twin brother "Where is that?"). Then, before your person can say anything else, tell them something interesting about the school/city/state that you would like to talk about. If they bite, you can delay the rest of the conversation. I like to go with "Oh yeah, Whitworth is in Washington. They say that the skiing up there is ok but I don't think it compares to Colorado."
2) What's your major? The best tactic here is to scare them away. Tell them what your major is and then start talking about that really interesting and technically complex that happened to you in that class with a really long name while you were studying this subject that no one has ever heard of. Try to drop in three words that your person won't be able to pronounce, and round it all of with a question back at them in another attempt to steer the conversation away from the rest of the 5 Questions. For example, "Oh, I'm majoring in Spanish Education, so I'm taking a whole bunch of these really hard Spanish classes. I took the CLEP language proficiency test at the beginning of the year and I got put in a Junior level class that I was really excited about, but the teacher turned out to be a total moron. Once, she was trying to explain how to conjugate in the pluperfect subjunctive tense but she got it completely confused with the preterite imperfect tense and had no clue. Did you ever have any teachers like that?"
3) Do you like it? If your person is still asking the questions at this point, you are doing something wrong. Still, the best way to answer this question is by sounding unsure about how committed you are, but putting on a brave face. "Well, I love Spanish and I've spent a long time in school learning all of the grammar and vocab and stuff, but I've never really taken any education classes so I don't know how I'll feel about that. I figure that it's always useful to speak another language and I could easily major in something else as well. I'm pretty sure that I'll stick to Spanish Ed because it's what I'm passionate about, but I'm trying to stay open to anything at this point." Notice that you never actually answered the question. Ms. Cyr would be so disappointed after all of her "Answer the Prompt!" AP prep stuff.
4) What do you want to do with that major? Admittedly, for some majors (like Psychology - seriously, what could you possibly spend your life doing with a Psych major) this is a legitimate question, but people don't seem to care if your major has an obvious career path attached to it, they will still ask you this. It is best to just flat-out answer whilst making a last desperate stab to not have to answer the last question. "I'm hoping to teach Spanish on a high school level, but there are always jobs for translators and stuff. Still, I would rather people listen to what I have to say, then what some other person is saying through me, you know?"
5) Are you getting good grades? You have been defeated. They got all 5 question in. Just give up and walk away. "Oh yeah, I'm pretty good at school by now. Sorry, it looks like my mom wants me to help her with some hosting job that I just made up on the spot, excuse me."
You are now armed with the weapons you need to fend off The 5 Questions. Just remember SIT CUB FAR: Something Interesting, Technical Crap, Unsure Brave-Face, Answer, Run. Good luck running the holiday gauntlet. At least you know that I am here for you with semi-helpful, heavily sarcastic responses to all of your questions.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Christmas Gifts on a College Budget
Disclaimer: this post will assume that you are not overly crafty or you could just make everyone on your list a hat and be done.
You are in college, so your budget for gifts is pretty much 00 dollars and 00 cents. I promise that you will be breaking this budget, although maybe not by as much as you had feared. The first thing to do is go buy a pack of Christmasy blank cards - like the kind that come in sets of 20 at Walmart. Write a nice, handwritten note for everyone on your list.
Now, divide your list into three categories:
1: people who drink coffee. Go to World Market and get these people mugs - they have a bunch of designs there and the mugs are usually 5 bucks. Sign up for a membership and they give you 20% off, but give them an old email address because they will spam you.
2: People who don't drink coffee and are not children. Get these people novelty items that no one really has any use for, but that are fun to open and think "what the heck?" (like hats with attached beards for the wannabe hipsters).
3: People who are children and thus are not really people but are labeled as such anyway. Children's paperbacks are dirt cheap on Amazon. Get magic treehouse or animal ark and add some candy to the package so that it isn't entirely educational.
There is also the secret fourth category of people who it is impossible to shop for because they will see through the tackiness/cheapness of the above gifts and will not think that your nice personal card makes up for it. I can't help you with these people. You might just have to spend money on them.
Happy shopping!
You are in college, so your budget for gifts is pretty much 00 dollars and 00 cents. I promise that you will be breaking this budget, although maybe not by as much as you had feared. The first thing to do is go buy a pack of Christmasy blank cards - like the kind that come in sets of 20 at Walmart. Write a nice, handwritten note for everyone on your list.
Now, divide your list into three categories:
1: people who drink coffee. Go to World Market and get these people mugs - they have a bunch of designs there and the mugs are usually 5 bucks. Sign up for a membership and they give you 20% off, but give them an old email address because they will spam you.
2: People who don't drink coffee and are not children. Get these people novelty items that no one really has any use for, but that are fun to open and think "what the heck?" (like hats with attached beards for the wannabe hipsters).
3: People who are children and thus are not really people but are labeled as such anyway. Children's paperbacks are dirt cheap on Amazon. Get magic treehouse or animal ark and add some candy to the package so that it isn't entirely educational.
There is also the secret fourth category of people who it is impossible to shop for because they will see through the tackiness/cheapness of the above gifts and will not think that your nice personal card makes up for it. I can't help you with these people. You might just have to spend money on them.
Happy shopping!
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Useful College Skillz
There are some things that it is always good to have up your sleeve, just to seem awesome for a few seconds. So here are some things that it might be good to learn how to do before you hit college.
1) At least one decent party trick
2) Epic shadow puppets - something beyond a bird and a dog
3) Play the piano and/or the guitar. You really only need to know one or two really good songs
4) Gymnastics of any kind - the splits, cartwheels, flips, anything that looks vaguely dangerous and makes people afraid that you might hurt yourself
5) Ostrich riding. It is harder than it looks
6) Impressions
7) Card tricks and/or basic magic
8) Really good sidewalk chalk drawing. If you can make it look like there is a big hole in the ground with hoopoes frolicking about beneath you, that is legit
9) Supermegafoxyawesomehot dance moves
10) Build something out of snow that isn't a snowman
1) At least one decent party trick
2) Epic shadow puppets - something beyond a bird and a dog
3) Play the piano and/or the guitar. You really only need to know one or two really good songs
4) Gymnastics of any kind - the splits, cartwheels, flips, anything that looks vaguely dangerous and makes people afraid that you might hurt yourself
5) Ostrich riding. It is harder than it looks
6) Impressions
7) Card tricks and/or basic magic
8) Really good sidewalk chalk drawing. If you can make it look like there is a big hole in the ground with hoopoes frolicking about beneath you, that is legit
9) Supermegafoxyawesomehot dance moves
10) Build something out of snow that isn't a snowman
Friday, December 14, 2012
Things Your Teachers Tell You that You Wish were Lies but are Actually True
Oh no. Everyone has that moment when they realize that their teacher was right. Dang it.
So here is the list of Things Your Teachers Tell You that You Wish were Lies but are Actually True:
- Things do need to be formatted correctly. When your teachers ask for your last name to appear at the top of every page, or for the title to be in bold but not in a large font, just do it. Make those stupid little formatting things the first thing you do when you start writing a paper. Many profs just won't accept papers that aren't properly formatted.
- Wikipedia is not a valid source. When you write papers in college, there is ALWAYS the possibility that you will get published. The absolute last thing you want is to have some erroneous fact challenged and then have to reveal that you got it off of Wikipedia. You might as well be making things up. Just don't risk it - stick to articles from peer reviewed journals.
- Highlight your reading assignments. I hate the phrase "close-read" because it is an evil neologism of Peak, but it is a valid concept. You just don't retain enough if you just read and don't highlight or take notes. Look at your essay prompts ahead of time and keep an eye out for quotes or arguments that you can make.
Those are the things that I have noticed so far. There are certainly more but I'm probably conveniently ignoring them because I'm too proud to admit that Hankla had a point about writing in pen. Grr.
So here is the list of Things Your Teachers Tell You that You Wish were Lies but are Actually True:
- Things do need to be formatted correctly. When your teachers ask for your last name to appear at the top of every page, or for the title to be in bold but not in a large font, just do it. Make those stupid little formatting things the first thing you do when you start writing a paper. Many profs just won't accept papers that aren't properly formatted.
- Wikipedia is not a valid source. When you write papers in college, there is ALWAYS the possibility that you will get published. The absolute last thing you want is to have some erroneous fact challenged and then have to reveal that you got it off of Wikipedia. You might as well be making things up. Just don't risk it - stick to articles from peer reviewed journals.
- Highlight your reading assignments. I hate the phrase "close-read" because it is an evil neologism of Peak, but it is a valid concept. You just don't retain enough if you just read and don't highlight or take notes. Look at your essay prompts ahead of time and keep an eye out for quotes or arguments that you can make.
Those are the things that I have noticed so far. There are certainly more but I'm probably conveniently ignoring them because I'm too proud to admit that Hankla had a point about writing in pen. Grr.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Christmas Break, Y'all!
Major accomplishment, guys: I have finished my first semester of college! I am now more highly educated than some significant proportion of the country that I am way too lazy to look up. *Fist bump!*
This is a good time to talk about the college time-table. Stop thinking about "four years". I know it is tempting - you spent four years in high school, so it makes sense to think of college like that too, but it is an erroneous assumption. College is not four years. It is eight semesters. This is an important distinction because every semester you will get new classes, new teachers, a new big fat tuition bill, and a new hatred for cafeteria food.
Anyway, make sure you don't make the mistake of undermining your accomplishment of conquering each and every semester! It's a big deal to pass all of your classes over a four month period - and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Hats off to all of my fellow 1/8 of the way there-ers, as well as to all of you yet-to-be-former-peakers-ers. May you all pass 1/8 of your classes :)
Cheers!
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Lies Your Teachers Tell You
Just kidding! There will be a post today even though it is still finals week because I need a freaking break.
I have some very exciting news for you: most of the time, when your high school teachers tell you a rule that sounds dumb, it is a rule that only applies to high school! I knew it - there is no way that "linking verbs" was something that we actually have to avoid. I mean, come on! It is not possible to write anything without "were, to, be, is, was, has, etc". It was all lies. My lit professor has never even heard of linking verbs.
Start your count-down clocks because the following is a list of things that you will be able to stop worrying about the second you graduate:
- Using third person. Most of my profs actually PREFER it when you use first person to express your own ideas. If you go read some peer-reviewed scholarly essays, they totally use first person when they want to. This applies mostly to literary papers and such, but when was the last time that you felt the need to write "I have observed the same phenomena as Newton" in a paper about physics? Anyway, if you feel like your sentence is clunky because you are avoiding first person, feel free to use it (in college).
- Linking verbs. (see above) I don't know about you, but I don't think that I ever worried about linking verbs after we finished that unit freshman year. Still, feel free to continue ignoring that made-up rule.
- Having your works cited page graded. It has to be present and appear correct, but no one will ever sit down and look up all of your sources to make sure you cited them right. Just use Easy Bib and be done because it's good enough. (If you plan on publishing something, that's a different story, but even then you won't be graded on your works cited, just held accountable for it)
- Single-spacing long quotes. You know that thing where if your quote is more than five lines long then you have to indent it and make the font smaller and single-space it? Well that is mostly valid, but the single-spacing thing is just a way for your teachers to try to keep you from messing with the minimum length. Just indent your quotes and leave it at that.
- The "3 levels". This suckish phenomena is a creation of Peak and does not exist anywhere else. Guess what? Apparently most people don't need a little chart to tell them what kind of question they are asking - they can just tell. Shocking.
- Annotating the prompt. It is equally shocking that most people are capable of answering a question without first defining every word, writing out steps, and re-stating it in their own words. No one saw that coming.
So breathe a sigh of relief that you won't have to worry about certain Peakisms after high school.
Unfortunately, there are some things that you will continue to worry about. Coming soon (with "soon" defined as "the next time I need a freaking break from studying"), Truths Your Teachers Tell You that You Hoped were Lies.
I have some very exciting news for you: most of the time, when your high school teachers tell you a rule that sounds dumb, it is a rule that only applies to high school! I knew it - there is no way that "linking verbs" was something that we actually have to avoid. I mean, come on! It is not possible to write anything without "were, to, be, is, was, has, etc". It was all lies. My lit professor has never even heard of linking verbs.
Start your count-down clocks because the following is a list of things that you will be able to stop worrying about the second you graduate:
- Using third person. Most of my profs actually PREFER it when you use first person to express your own ideas. If you go read some peer-reviewed scholarly essays, they totally use first person when they want to. This applies mostly to literary papers and such, but when was the last time that you felt the need to write "I have observed the same phenomena as Newton" in a paper about physics? Anyway, if you feel like your sentence is clunky because you are avoiding first person, feel free to use it (in college).
- Linking verbs. (see above) I don't know about you, but I don't think that I ever worried about linking verbs after we finished that unit freshman year. Still, feel free to continue ignoring that made-up rule.
- Having your works cited page graded. It has to be present and appear correct, but no one will ever sit down and look up all of your sources to make sure you cited them right. Just use Easy Bib and be done because it's good enough. (If you plan on publishing something, that's a different story, but even then you won't be graded on your works cited, just held accountable for it)
- Single-spacing long quotes. You know that thing where if your quote is more than five lines long then you have to indent it and make the font smaller and single-space it? Well that is mostly valid, but the single-spacing thing is just a way for your teachers to try to keep you from messing with the minimum length. Just indent your quotes and leave it at that.
- The "3 levels". This suckish phenomena is a creation of Peak and does not exist anywhere else. Guess what? Apparently most people don't need a little chart to tell them what kind of question they are asking - they can just tell. Shocking.
- Annotating the prompt. It is equally shocking that most people are capable of answering a question without first defining every word, writing out steps, and re-stating it in their own words. No one saw that coming.
So breathe a sigh of relief that you won't have to worry about certain Peakisms after high school.
Unfortunately, there are some things that you will continue to worry about. Coming soon (with "soon" defined as "the next time I need a freaking break from studying"), Truths Your Teachers Tell You that You Hoped were Lies.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
It's the Most Stressful Time of the Year!
Hello week before finals! I missed you! NOT
Unfortunately, this means that all posting will be put on hold until next friday because shockingly I do have to study at some point. Blame finals if you are upset. Nothing would please me more than to provide you all with some humorous blog-breaks from studying for your own finals, but alas I do not have the time.
Go study, you peakers!
Unfortunately, this means that all posting will be put on hold until next friday because shockingly I do have to study at some point. Blame finals if you are upset. Nothing would please me more than to provide you all with some humorous blog-breaks from studying for your own finals, but alas I do not have the time.
Go study, you peakers!
Monday, December 3, 2012
Fire Alarms
The fire alarm only goes off at 2 in the morning (actually, that is newton's fifth law of motion). Now there is a very good chance that you will be involved in the early morning shenanigans that resulted in a ping pong ball being accidentally exploded with a lighter that ended up setting the fire alarm off, but if you weren't then you will probably be asleep when the alarm goes off.
In order to survive such evacuation scenarios, follow these steps before leaving your room:
1) Feel the floor with your hand. If it is hot or if you hear screaming, skip to the last step regardless of your current condition.
2) Assuming that there is no obvious danger other than the alarm going off, get out of bed and make sure that you are wearing pants and a shirt.
3) Put on some shoes that aren't slippers and that are waterproof (because this is Washington (well, it's Washington here anyway) and it is probably raining outside.
4) Grab the nearest jacket.
5) Make sure you have your emergency deck of cards so that you won't be bored standing in the rain for 40 minutes while the firemen make sure that the only reason for the fire was idiocy and that there isn't some kind of mythical secondary fire that will kill everyone the instant you enter the building. Similarly, if you have a car you can grab your keys and drive to McDonald's while they sort everything out (make sure you also have your license and wallet).
6) Take your keys with you because you will need to get back into the building at some point.
7) Leave your room and follow the screaming hoards down the stairs and out the fire exit. Do try to scream in harmony with the fire alarm as you flee in an orderly fashion - it is too early in the morning for excessive dissonance. Watch out for ROUSes
Good job! Now you are all set to survive this minor emergency without being cold and/or barefoot in the rain or getting bored waiting for the RD to get his act together.
In order to survive such evacuation scenarios, follow these steps before leaving your room:
1) Feel the floor with your hand. If it is hot or if you hear screaming, skip to the last step regardless of your current condition.
2) Assuming that there is no obvious danger other than the alarm going off, get out of bed and make sure that you are wearing pants and a shirt.
3) Put on some shoes that aren't slippers and that are waterproof (because this is Washington (well, it's Washington here anyway) and it is probably raining outside.
4) Grab the nearest jacket.
5) Make sure you have your emergency deck of cards so that you won't be bored standing in the rain for 40 minutes while the firemen make sure that the only reason for the fire was idiocy and that there isn't some kind of mythical secondary fire that will kill everyone the instant you enter the building. Similarly, if you have a car you can grab your keys and drive to McDonald's while they sort everything out (make sure you also have your license and wallet).
6) Take your keys with you because you will need to get back into the building at some point.
7) Leave your room and follow the screaming hoards down the stairs and out the fire exit. Do try to scream in harmony with the fire alarm as you flee in an orderly fashion - it is too early in the morning for excessive dissonance. Watch out for ROUSes
Good job! Now you are all set to survive this minor emergency without being cold and/or barefoot in the rain or getting bored waiting for the RD to get his act together.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
How to write a Limerick
This is a skill that is always handy.
I feel bad about this, but the only limerick that I actually know is a dirty one. So if you are squeamish, skip the next few lines:
There once was a man from Beirut
Who had warts all over his root
He put acid on these
And now when he pees
He fingers his root like a flute
I am truly sorry but that is the only example I know. If you want another example, go read Stacia's wall (if you know her, if not, google "limerick" or something).
Anyway, limericks are always useful for inside joke allusions, or making fun of people. You should definitely know how to write one because you never know when you may need to sound clever whilst you make fun of someone.
A limerick is composed of 5 lines:
Line 1: 8 syllables, rhyme A
Line 2: 8 syllables, rhyme A
Line 3: 6 syllables, rhyme B
Line 4: 5 syllables, rhyme B
Line 5: 8 syllables, rhyme A
Generally speaking, you can add or drop up to one syllable per line if you have to.
So there you have it! Limerick away!
I feel bad about this, but the only limerick that I actually know is a dirty one. So if you are squeamish, skip the next few lines:
There once was a man from Beirut
Who had warts all over his root
He put acid on these
And now when he pees
He fingers his root like a flute
I am truly sorry but that is the only example I know. If you want another example, go read Stacia's wall (if you know her, if not, google "limerick" or something).
Anyway, limericks are always useful for inside joke allusions, or making fun of people. You should definitely know how to write one because you never know when you may need to sound clever whilst you make fun of someone.
A limerick is composed of 5 lines:
Line 1: 8 syllables, rhyme A
Line 2: 8 syllables, rhyme A
Line 3: 6 syllables, rhyme B
Line 4: 5 syllables, rhyme B
Line 5: 8 syllables, rhyme A
Generally speaking, you can add or drop up to one syllable per line if you have to.
So there you have it! Limerick away!
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Used Books
I would highly encourage you to buy used books. BUT not because they are cheaper. You should buy used books because they have the potential to make your life easier. Most used books will have writing or graffiti of some kind in them. About 90.64% of the writing in used books appears to have been done by a drunken moron. These are the comments that either make no sense but try to sound smart ("Hamlet is obviously Post Modern here"), or that are just plain dumb ("She wants him now"), or that are so obvious it hurts ("He's mad about her sleeping with his dad").
BUT sometimes you get a book whose previous owner was intelligent enough to be useful for more than just entertainment. If you happen upon one of these lucky books, your reading time just got cut in half because now you only have to read the highlighted parts. Score!
These books are rare but worth it. So I would suggest buying the books that say they have highlighting or writing in them. They are cheaper and you may just get some free entertainment or cliffs notes out of them.
BUT sometimes you get a book whose previous owner was intelligent enough to be useful for more than just entertainment. If you happen upon one of these lucky books, your reading time just got cut in half because now you only have to read the highlighted parts. Score!
These books are rare but worth it. So I would suggest buying the books that say they have highlighting or writing in them. They are cheaper and you may just get some free entertainment or cliffs notes out of them.
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