Grammar and Other Such Things

Oh hai so I hate grammatical fallacies.  I see these things happen entirely too often by otherwise intelligent people.  Seriously, if you purposefully make these mistakes because you think it's hip or something, you are now banned from reading my blog.

Anyway, here are 6 grammatical fallacies that no one should ever make after eighth grade:
1) i.  Unless you are literally typing out a text message, capitalize your stupid "I"s.  I understand that iPod has a lowercase "I" in front of it - that's fine but otherwise just don't go there.
2) Ur.  The only reason to write this ever (even in a text message) is because you don't know the difference between your/you're.  So really what you are saying when you write "ur" is "I am a moron and I'm trying to hide it but I can't because I'm such a moron".  Why would anyone want to say that?
3) There/their/they're.  Learn the difference, people!  There is a place, their implies ownership by a third party, they're is a conjunction of "they are".  Don't mix them up or I will hurt you.
4) #.  Unless you are tweeting, don't put six hashtags at the end of your sentences.  This goes for Facebook.  It especially applies to writing that isn't even digital - I was once passed a note in class with a string of hashtags at the bottom.  Who do you think you are fooling?  You aren't trending right now, you are being a fleshsack.
5) !!!!!!.  Get a grip.  Those make it seem like you are literally peeing on the floor because you are so excited.  The same goes for those creepy asian smilies that are made up of like 9 punctuation marks.  Just avoid excessive punctuation of any kind and stick to properly placed periods, commas, apostrophes, and question marks.
6) Apostrophe s.  Apostrophes are not like bacon bits that you can just randomly place before s's and be correct.  Learn the freaking rules and then stop being dumb.

Don't feel bad if you make these mistakes, just FIX THEM.  This sign is posted near my dorm: "Throw out you're own trash's pleeze!!!!!".  Ushkjgbhrsjgtaorwuaefnkjlsdm,jkhtsreioil.  I think I just had a stroke from reading that sign.  Just don't be like whoever made this sign and you should be ok.