The Epitome of College Life

I am going to tell you a story.  All that I will say about it is that it is the perfect example of what it is like to live at college.  Interpret it as you will.

At the beginning of the year, the fourth stall from the left in our dorm bathroom was the "Hottie Potty", meaning that we should post pictures of our favorite male celebrities for our viewing pleasures as we pee.  Yeah, that is the kind of thing that would never ever occur to me (like I want Ryan Gosling to watch me pee).  Anyway, there were about a dozen pictures in there with various comments written on them, like "Beg for it".

About three quarters of the way through the semester, one of the girls on my hall decided that the Hottie Potty was morally unsound.  Her argument was that we wouldn't want the guys to have pictures of super models in their bathroom stalls and expect us to look like that so why should we be able to do the same thing and have it be funny instead of gross.  I happen to agree with her, but I would never care enough to take down the pictures.  So she decided that instead of the Hottie Potty, she would put blank paper or pads of sticky notes in each stall for us to write each other notes on.  So now each stall has a piece of paper with a sappy/stupid prompt on it like "What are you most proud of this semester?" or "What are your goals for college" or "If you could have any exotic animal for a pet, what would it be?". (Incidentally, on that last one, someone wrote "A human" and then someone else wrote "I already have one" and then someone else wrote "Her name is Haley".  Yeah, I'm not quite sure how to take that).

The fourth stall from the left is the one with the pad of sticky notes in it.  At first, people were just writing notes like "You can do it!" (yes, thank you, I know that I can poop), and "You are beautiful" (well, right NOW, not so much), and "God made you just the way you are!" (Really? Why do I need to be reminded that it is God's fault that I have cramps right now?).  But then.  Someone started an epic sticky-note story telling marathon.  Each person added a thought to the story until we ended up with this:
Once upon a time...
There was a duck
Named Frederick
Frederick had a pet
His pet was a duck (which was ironic because Frederick was also a duck)
His pet duck's name was Ben
One day, Frederick and Ben went
To the zoo
They were looking at penguins
"Hey," thought Frederick, "Those penguins look a lot like me"
"Which must mean"
"That we are also penguins and not ducks at all!  Fascinating"
And then there was a loud bang
Which was the sound of Frederick and Ben having a major identity crisis
Then one of the lady penguins
Walked up to the glass and
Flirted the heck out of Frederick and Ben which wasn't creepy because they were penguins too
And so the moral of the story is...
Girls like guys who "suit up!"
The end

I don't know about you, but that is the best story that I have ever heard in my whole life.  10 points to whoever can tell which ones I added (there are 5 of them).  And so was the evolution of our bathroom entertainment system: Goggling Gosling to Sticky Stories.  Make of it what you will.